New Year's Resolution

I never do New Year's Resolutions. I never received any kind of encouragement to participate in such a ritualistic endeavor from my family. Sometimes I come across certain ideas I would incorporate into a list of resolutions, but the desire to formalize them into coherent goals is always lacking.
Until this year.
I've decided that this academic year is the year of possibilities for me. This year, I made a VOLUNTARY decision to graduate from college early, in order to participate in a different kind of ritual: the inevitable post-grad Fear of Unemployment. This fear would exist in spite of the Great Recession of '08, but needless to say, it is heightened with the economic tension we are currently facing.
And my voluntary decision has now led to something for which I am unaccustomed: the Lack of Control. This LOC has been plaguing me for months and the more I try to ignore it, the more it eats away at the few brain cells that have not been consumed by my youthful acoholic adventures.
So what do LOC and the year of possibilites have to do with each other? EVERY THING! I have everything to gain and everything to lose from this year I will save from graduating early. I can apply for fellowships, scholarships, grants, volunteer opportunties, graduate school, law school and of course, venture out into the despicable job market. But for each one of those things, there are a list of at least 10 reasons of why I am unable to do those things. And then things start to spiral out. of. control.
So if I cannot control the big things, I'll focus on the minor grievances that wreak more havoc than sweating the big stuff (and also because I'm hoping the Grand Plan will somehow fall into place by May 22, 2009) (PS - I don't even have a Grand Plan).
So what are these minor grievances?
-Lose these 10 pounds that off my binge eating patterns I commit to, especially during finals
-Be nicer to people. I'm so tired of people thinking that I'm a huge bitch. I'm not. And I would like the opportunity to prove these haters wrong!
-Be diligent in my school work and beyond. I need to learn how to develop that sense of commitment to anything I do. And right now, the most important area that needs my 100% attention is my schoolwork. But if I have learned anything from this semester, is that even devoting 1% of that energy to something other than your schoolwork will make me a much happier person. So I will commit to volunteering in an animal shelter or a soup kitchen or somewhere where I feel happiest. I miss community service.
-Watch more movies. I'm jealous of my movie buff friends and am embarassed by my apparent lack of movie trivia. Also, movies are just fun to watch :)
-Make a concerted effort to form a group of friends at Rose Hill.
-Go to sports games at Rose Hill
-Enjoy my last damn semester of college with the utmost amount of passion I can find amid classes, work, volunteering and finding jobs. And also, it'll be so much warmer and I can't just sit inside with my hot bod (which will happen because I will lose those cursed 10 pounds) wasting away
-Staying in touch with my friends studying abroad

I hope to formalize this list somehow and sticking to it.
THIS IS HAPPENING.
it is happening

Oh, look, another hour has passed and I have yet to even begin my second part of the Spanish final. It's due in less than 12 hours.

Rashid Rana

I went to the Asia Society's Holiday Party with my sister the other day and we got a free tour. There was an exhibit about Pakistan and it's many talented artists, one of them being Rashid Rana.
He's beyond words kind of amazing. It's safe to say that he has completely transformed and ripped apart everything I thought art could be and the possibilities within this already creative and open-minded outlet.
I really encourage anyone/everyone who reads this to check out his work. He has this unusual style of taking numerous (we're talking thousands) of little tiny pictures of one topic and making a larger picture out of these tiny ones.
Look up "Red Carpet" - it's a series of pictures about a slaughterhouse he saw in Pakistan, with quite vivid and disturbing pictures of different dead animals lying in pools of blood on the floor. But here's the beautiful thing - when you look at the entire picture it looks like a red carpet, one of those Persian ones that are known for their beauty and admired for their handiwork. Go closer and you'll find some of the most terrifying images of death, and it's all pretty violent.
Thank you Rashid Rana, for being one of those who not only transforms and pushes the limits of artistic creativity but also transforms the image of Pakistan as well. Let's not forget that even though its government may not always make the right decisions and it's economy seems to be crumbling, it's got some pretty amazing people who are looking to prove to people in their homeland and the rest of the world that it's still possible to create beauty out of destruction.